1.) A virus, worm, disease, or evil spirit that enters someone's body. This unknown entity will take over a person, or animal and make them do things they normally wouldn't do. Beating people up, shoplifting candy bars, pushing people over, cutting in line at a concert, lying, womanizing, calling out old slappers, and getting with his friend's moms. The Dutcham will slightly change it's victim's first name and morph into an exaggerated likeness of the host victim.
There have been few documented pictures of Dutchams but one is believed to have been seen within this particular photo:
There are also a few documented cases of Dutchams currently existing in the god-fearing US of A and are as follows:
1.) Sleazy Dutcham - The sleaziest of Dutchams. Known to inhabit some of its best friends' sisters' beds and strip clubs across the country. Gets women pregnant, dumps them, makes them keep custody of the child, then makes the female pay HIM the child support. A vile and heartless being, curses like a sailor, and sails like a curser.
2.) Jeezy Dutcham - This creature is highly energetic and draws large amounts of attention to itself. Uses magic to seduce its mate, on both males and females. Uses its hair and physical features as a camouflage to blend in amongst various social groups, some of which include the stoner, the hippie, a female, and black ghetto blasters. This beast is quite agile and is known to strike the unsuspecting at any moment, but usually during their masturbation cycle.
3.) Juice Dutcham - This creature is quite different than the other Dutchams in that it takes a more varied form than its host. This Dutcham generally adorns neon beanies and sunglasses. Just like its familiar Dutcham, the Jeezy, this breed it quite agile also. It is also fond of manipulating its species within the device of film and releasing said films into the general public for utter amazement, shock effect, and plain out sexual enjoyment.
4.) Grizz Dutcham - This breed of Dutcham is one of the most rugged forms. This type has been known to be fond of beards and pink jackets. The Grizz originated from a family of grizzly bears that fornicated with a group of Scandinavian porstitutes and was raised on a healthy diet of heavy metal and corn flakes.
5.) Ruf Dutcham - This particular Dutcham is said to be one of the meanest of its kind. The Ruf generally prays upon cougars, old slappers, and mothers that exist within 100 miles of its current location via networking websites such as Craig's List. Ruf trains the younger Dutchams in its cougar slaying methods. For example, "You feel down there, and if shes wet, you rip them pants off and slide your shit up in her," is a segment from a story that has been passed on to the Jeezy Dutcham. Tales of the Ruf exist in mostly spoken folk story form and are not always accurate, but currently the Ruf Dutcham is the most legendary and aggressive forms of Dutcham.
6.) Herbie Dutcham - Little is known of this Dutcham and with more research content and accounts of Herbie will be added at a later date.
What can we learn from this? NEVER trust a Dutcham. They'll eat all of your Oreos, they'll cook two burritos but eat both for themself, they'll sleep with your mother or sister if given the chance, and most definately, they will shralp whatsoever they please.
1.) Sleazy Dutcham - The sleaziest of Dutchams. Known to inhabit some of its best friends' sisters' beds and strip clubs across the country. Gets women pregnant, dumps them, makes them keep custody of the child, then makes the female pay HIM the child support. A vile and heartless being, curses like a sailor, and sails like a curser.
2.) Jeezy Dutcham - This creature is highly energetic and draws large amounts of attention to itself. Uses magic to seduce its mate, on both males and females. Uses its hair and physical features as a camouflage to blend in amongst various social groups, some of which include the stoner, the hippie, a female, and black ghetto blasters. This beast is quite agile and is known to strike the unsuspecting at any moment, but usually during their masturbation cycle.
3.) Juice Dutcham - This creature is quite different than the other Dutchams in that it takes a more varied form than its host. This Dutcham generally adorns neon beanies and sunglasses. Just like its familiar Dutcham, the Jeezy, this breed it quite agile also. It is also fond of manipulating its species within the device of film and releasing said films into the general public for utter amazement, shock effect, and plain out sexual enjoyment.
4.) Grizz Dutcham - This breed of Dutcham is one of the most rugged forms. This type has been known to be fond of beards and pink jackets. The Grizz originated from a family of grizzly bears that fornicated with a group of Scandinavian porstitutes and was raised on a healthy diet of heavy metal and corn flakes.
5.) Ruf Dutcham - This particular Dutcham is said to be one of the meanest of its kind. The Ruf generally prays upon cougars, old slappers, and mothers that exist within 100 miles of its current location via networking websites such as Craig's List. Ruf trains the younger Dutchams in its cougar slaying methods. For example, "You feel down there, and if shes wet, you rip them pants off and slide your shit up in her," is a segment from a story that has been passed on to the Jeezy Dutcham. Tales of the Ruf exist in mostly spoken folk story form and are not always accurate, but currently the Ruf Dutcham is the most legendary and aggressive forms of Dutcham.
6.) Herbie Dutcham - Little is known of this Dutcham and with more research content and accounts of Herbie will be added at a later date.
What can we learn from this? NEVER trust a Dutcham. They'll eat all of your Oreos, they'll cook two burritos but eat both for themself, they'll sleep with your mother or sister if given the chance, and most definately, they will shralp whatsoever they please.
